I've gorn and lost something vital again.

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

I'm in a funny mood, and I need, NEED I tell you, to track down a death fic that I know I read online ages ago - and you think I can find it on my own? Hell no!

It's short, written in response to some sort of conversation/challenge: 'if Cowley had to choose between the lives of Bodie or Doyle, who would he pick?'

I think there's a fire in a building and Bodie is the loser.

And yes, it tore me apart to read it the first time, 'cos I don't do death fic... but it was good, and I'm contrary enough to want to hurt myself read it all over again *g*

Any clues/help deeply appreciated - there will be swiss rolls/olives in it for anyone who can point me the right way...

::iz reaching the begging-pathetically stage::

Comments

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

In Balance With This Life (http://www.thecircuitarchive.com/tca/archive/9/inbalance.html) by MauveMaz? I adore, adore adore that fic... Oh no, just realised that it can't be, cos it's not Cowley's choice between B/D... But incredibly heart-wrenchingly wonderful all the same (and the ending isn't what you might be expecting, considering your question)

I'm sure I've read the other one though - I'll keep thinking! I'm fascinated by this challenge question too - do you know where/when it was set? What other fics were written to it?

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Awww - thanks for trying, but nope that's not it... I haven't read your suggestion yet though, so that may hit the spot!

I'm fascinated by this challenge question too - do you know where/when it was set? What other fics were written to it?

::winces:: Noooo! Sorry - I've wracked my tiny brain, but the above is all I can recall... it was quite a while back - a year or two? Argh! I'm going to drive you nuts now too *g*

::smacks self round head::

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Maybe check out the Story lists at The Hatstand? There's a death story list...

A couple of years ago in Pros? Around the usual places, or somewhere else altogether?! I don't remember it at The Safehouse, and I know we didn't have it at Ci5hq... unless it was gen? *is naggily curious...*

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the suggestion hon - rosie55 has put us me out of my misery - The Cold Calculus, Mosby Singleton/Morgan Stuart... I must have seen it elsewhere originally, because I know it was some sort of challenge/conversation... ah well. it's found, I can go wallow in angst... bliss!

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Just lurching back again to thank you for the rec!

Ouch! So, so good, and you're right about it being heart-wrenchingly wonderful ::is filling up again::

Thanks so much for pointing me towards it.

[byslantedlight.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so glad you liked it - isn't it just wonderful! *g*

[rosie55.livejournal.com]

Is it The Cold calculus by Mosby Singleton? It's here - http://hatstand.slashcity.net/morganstuart/cold.html

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Oh wow - it is, it is!!

Thank you so much - it's been driving me round the bend and out the other side for over a week now... you're a star!

::hands over the Swiss roll with double cream and chocolate::

[rosie55.livejournal.com]

Delighted to help! This one stuck in my mind, too - I've re-read it once, I think, since the original read and it stuck like a little burr! Not the most comfortable of fics but sort of compelling somehow.
And that Swiss roll and chocolate is exactly what was needed, what with me coming in late from a long meeting :: wipes cream off end of nose. Yum!

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Thank you again, it's such a relief to finally know what it is, and that I haven't dreamt it!

Yep, it stuck in my mind too, even though I don't really like death fic - there's just something about it...

And you look cute with cream on your nose...

::ducks:: *g*

[rosie55.livejournal.com]

As the old ad has it, naughty but nice!
;-)

[eldritchhobbit.livejournal.com]

It's also available here at the author's website, FYI (http://home.mindspring.com/~ms/).

[snailbones.livejournal.com]

Oh you sweetheart! Thanks for that - a whole other web site for me to go rummage around *g*